4 strategies for dealing with difficult emotions

The world can be a scary and confusing place. Life can be hard. People can be cruel. For better or worse, difficult emotions are a part of life. So here are four strategies for dealing with them: Feel, Don’t Resist, Your Feelings Rainer Maria Rilke wrote: “No feeling is final” and the poet Robert FrostContinue reading “4 strategies for dealing with difficult emotions”

By virtue of being alive.

This is a concept that comes up for a lot of the clients I work with who were programmed, taught, or otherwise given the message that they were somehow not enough: You have value and worth…by virtue of being alive. What does this mean? It means you do not have to earn your place onContinue reading “By virtue of being alive.”

You are probably doing better than you think.

If you are a person who tends to get down on themselves and beat themselves up, this post is for you. I know you might not believe me, but…you are probably doing better than you think. I know you feel like you’re never good enough and you never will be, but…you are probably doing betterContinue reading “You are probably doing better than you think.”

Are you trying too hard in your friendships?

Today I want to talk about the problem of trying too hard to “win” someone’s friendship. Have you ever really wanted a friendship with a specific person? If the person in question also wants your friendship, mutual interest will hopefully bring you together without much fuss. But what about when your desire to create aContinue reading “Are you trying too hard in your friendships?”

Betrayed by a friend? Read this.

When betrayal enters into a friendship, it can transform a source of great joy into a source of immense pain. Maybe a friend told a secret they swore up and down to keep confidential. Maybe they sided with someone who has acted abusively towards you. Or maybe in a heated moment, they deliberately pushed aContinue reading “Betrayed by a friend? Read this.”

10 ways to cope with college rejection

It’s almost April and we all know what that means: thousands of young people across America are hearing back from the colleges they applied to months earlier. This was a record year for college applications (global pandemic, anyone?) and while many college applicants will receive acceptance letters, even more will rejection letters. Being told “no”Continue reading “10 ways to cope with college rejection”

Seven Ways to Cope When You Have No Friends in Quarantine

Lockdown. Quarantine. Stay-At-Home. Social-Distancing. Self-isolation. Whatever you call it, we’ve now been doing it for a year. For some of us, the pandemic has provided time alone we didn’t realize we’d been craving. For others, it’s felt like a social prison sentence. Regardless of your introversion/extroversion levels, many have reported increased feelings of loneliness duringContinue reading “Seven Ways to Cope When You Have No Friends in Quarantine”

Get a life! 19 things to do instead of staring at a screen

THE QUARANTINE EDITION! As a mental health clinician, I am a huge proponent of living a screen-limited life. Too much screen time has been linked to anxiety and depression in teens, and I can’t throw a rock without hitting someone who readily admits that they are addicted to their phones. Screens are not inherently bad,Continue reading “Get a life! 19 things to do instead of staring at a screen”

You Can Choose Your Friends (Yes, Really!)

When determining whether to pursue a romantic relationship, people often tend towards vigilance, looking out for signs of “red flags,” “settling” and indicators of incompatibility or “deal breakers.” When it comes to friendship, however, many of us take a much more relaxed approach. We know it’s important to choose our friends wisely. My grandmother alwaysContinue reading “You Can Choose Your Friends (Yes, Really!)”

Secure Attachment in Friendship

There are four relationship attachment styles: Anxious, Avoidant, Fearful, and Secure. In my last three posts, I discussed how anxious, avoidant, and fearful attachment styles can show up in the context of friendship. In today’s post, I’ll discuss the secure attachment style in friendship. Secure Attachment & Friendship: Secure friends are comfortable being emotionally intimateContinue reading “Secure Attachment in Friendship”