Your quiz responses suggest that you have an AVOIDANT friendship attachment style.
Have you ever been told you have “a wall up” been called “aloof” or “a lone wolf”?
Avoidant friends are very independent, self-reliant, and not comfortable with getting close to others. They tend to lead more with logic than their emotions, and may complain that their friends are “needy” or “clingy” when trying to get closer to them.
This type of friendship attachment style makes it difficult for people to get close to you.
Sound familiar? Here are some suggestions for next steps:
- Don’t completely lose your independent style, but try to focus more on mutual collaboration in your friendships. Reflect on how you can give support to your friends, and how you would like to receive support from them.
- Recognize and challenge your tendency to interpret others’ behavior negatively. Unless your friends give you concrete evidence to the contrary, assume they have positive intentions.
- Remind yourself on a regular basis about why you chose your friends. What positive qualities drew you to them? Why are you grateful for them?
Source: Levine, A. & Heller, R. Attached (2010). New York, NY: Penguin.
Gina Davis, PsyD 